I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had to run to the bathroom. I've been sick all day. Not that any of you want to know that, but I just thought it led to a fine moment to talk a little bit about motivation.
I suffer from depression a lot, have for most of my adult life. And while it may look like I'm the kind of person who accomplishes a lot, I've got to tell you that I am a really bad procrastinator, ask my mom and pretty much all of my teachers I've ever had.
That's why I started 365 portraits and why I did my 52 project and the first 365 before that. I was and constantly am trying to overcome this friction that constantly feels like it's slowing me down. Giving myself daily goals was just one way to force myself to actually do something productive with my time. Lately I've been feeling rather unproductive, but that's another matter for another more thought out essay.
At this moment I get cyclical 10 minute respites from stomach cramps and nausea in which I'm writing this entry, but I'd much rather be shooting right now, even though it's 2:46 in the morning.
It's the irony of my life. I'm motivated to do stuff at exactly the same time that I physically can't. Of course if I were lying here feeling healthy, I'd probably just go to sleep instead of picking up my camera. I'm not sure which is worse.
Either way, this is all to say 'sorry' for the lack of updates, and that being sick sucks, any way you slice it.